Well, well..here we are.
Our first OFFICIAL week of summer vacay.
And things are going OK.
And by OK, I mean awful.
The kids are working very hard at trying to make us all mental.
The head punching.
The throwing of each others possessions at one another.
I was born patient, but this is outer limits.
Usually, my best arsenal consist of threats, bedroom confinement..and the biggest gun I own, CALLING DADDY AT WORK.
Only problem is, he took them for a day trip fishing the other day, and came home a broken man.
He looked at me with the eyes of an mangy dog behind bars at the critter shelter..beaten down, dragged by the collar and dehydrated.
I tried to be understanding but the only real emotion to surface was one of "See??? I told you so!".
A few hours later, after he simmered down, we called a family meeting.
We needed to lay down the new law.
We cannot go on 2+ more months like this.
My husband begins: "First off, we love you guys. You each are very special to us. We think you are good people. HOWEVER, ya'll are making us want to not live here anymore. This is an unhappy place to be. You are rude, pushy and this has to stop. When I was the kid, my Dad told me to shut it. I went ahead and shut it. And if you wonder why? That is my point. The "why" is cuz he was my Dad. And you do what Dad and Mom say. Got me?"
And for good measure, I chime in: "And I am sick and tired of hearing that you are bored. I am not here to be your personal circus clown, entertaining you is not in my contract. When I was little, my Dad sold real estate and we sat in the car while he showed houses on Saturday mornings. It was hot. If we were good, he rolled down the windows and left us a thermos of Tang (mild exaggeration for impact here).
And Did we complain? Did we get out of the car and do the pee-pee dance in front of his clients?Did we cry cuz our Speak and Spell ran out of batteries???
NO. Cuz when my Dad said sit and down and shut it...we did!"
Our kids sat there with no expression.
Then finally, they begin to laugh. Our second youngest son belts out with a ton of giggles.."Papa would NEVER do that!!".
Chris (my husband) turns to me and says.."See, it is all their fault. Our parents spoil them and make us look like el diablo."
I imagine this won't be the last "family meeting" in the living room we have this summer.
Hopefully, they will begin to be more successful as the summer progresses..otherwise you will be seeing some of us profiled on "Nancy Grace" soon.
Oh, please no, not that.
She is the last thing I need this week.