Come On In! The (Gene) Pool is (Almost) Fine!

No matter how old I get, I love a good family reunion.
Maybe it is something you are supposed to outgrow or become too cool for as a teen. Well, I am WAY past teen and still love them.
My reasoning looks a lot like this:

First off, you get to get a good look at the whole gene pool
That’s right.
Compare yourself to the cousins and aunts and uncles and see who got what.
You might think things like this, “Man, she sure got Aunt Norma’s freckles” or “Gee, he got Grandpa’s flat butt”.

This makes for a good time.

Mostly because you can always find someone worse off than you…I got my Dad’s cankles..and I love to spy a cousin that is carrying around more cank cargo than me.

It helps me to sleep better at night.

Next, among family, you can fully enjoy the crazies
Its ok cuz you are all related. 
You can just embrace nutty Aunt Bernice and her dog she dresses up as a member of the icecapades. 
And the giggling you do? It is in LOVE.

I love the food and goodies
People don’t waste time bringing healthy things to outdoor family picnics cuz they don’t want to have to haul all of the yucky, unwanted food home.

You are almost never put in uncomfortable situations by members of the opposite sex. As in, you don’t have to cold shoulder any strange mens.

Well, I must add this one proviso, I did attend a family wedding when I was in 6th grade and while my cousins and I were enjoying “Hammer Time” I had to face dodge the unwanted kiss of a second cousin.

I often think about how happy I am that my reflexes were up to par. Can you imagine having to answer the question of “Who was your first kiss?” with the words “My overly impulsive lustful cousin”. 


Just to put your mind at ease, there are very few creepy/scary members of my family. I did have one unfriendly Step Grandpa once. He died a LONG time ago. Which is fine cuz we were not close. I am quite sure he never knew my name.

He only referred to me as “Sister”. 

And this term of endearment was only forced out of his mouth when he needed me to pass the mustard or change the channel on the television.

But overall, my family is a good time.

Please take the time this summer to enjoy your own little stew pot of DNA.

(Cousin Eddie: "Shitter was full!")